Wow, two posts in one day here. That doesn't happen often.

I don't do spells very often. If I do, it's around exam time when I need a bit of memory help or something. But I've realised over the last little while that there's one I really have, have to do, and I've been putting it off for far too long. 

I have a problem with my past. I regret everything - even the stupidest things that any child could have done, and I'm not sure why I do this. Major guilt complex or something. Anyway, this is literally holding me back. Because of this regret, the fear of causing more, and the fear of something from my past coming to essentially bite me in the ass has literally kept me at a standstill. Before, how I dealt with this was to simply force myself to forget stuff - it backfired. I repressed the good memories and kept the bad. I actually have no good memories of my childhood - even of the last few years. 

So... I'm planning to create a "release" or "forgive-myself" spell. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it - need to do a bit more research on correspondences and such (but I know part of it is probably going to involve burning something. XD), but I know I have to do something to make enough of an impact on me so I can just let it all go. And I have to do it before the end of the summer - if not, I know I'm going to just go through another year of holding myself back, and I just can't do that anymore. It hurts too much - I can't take the nights of staying awake and the nervousness and the nightmares. 

I've tried to solve the problem by myself and failed, so I guess it's time to let the powers that be have a go at it. Maybe something will come from it - I hope it will. I just hope I can put this together right.